by Laura Simmons

After six months of public silence, Susan Stanton once again braved the microphone in front of a room full of journalists - only this time, none of them was writing a story.

About 50 people turned up to hear Stanton speak about the upcoming documentary "Her Name Was Steven" at the 2008 NLGJA national convention.

Stanton appeared with producers from CNN to screen the beginning of the documentary, which follows Stanton through her transition from male to female. It's scheduled to be finished in the fall, but no date is set for broadcast.

Stanton's story first made national headlines in 2007 after Steve Stanton lost his job as the city manager of Largo, Fla. He had decided to transition from Steven to Susan, but the St. Petersburg Times broke the story before he had told his co-workers and city officials.

"A Salem witch trial environment" was how Rose Arce, senior producer for CNN and moderator of the event, described the public hearings that ensued and led to Stanton's dismissal.

After the introduction, lights dimmed and the crowd was privy to about 10 minutes of footage from the beginning of the documentary.

The film paints Steve Stanton as a "man's man" and a "guy's guy," showing him driving heavy machinery as an adult and playing in the dirt as a boy. But it also shows him as a family man. He's often pictured with his ex-wife Donna and their 15-year-old son, Travis.

When the lights came back, Stanton was wiping tears from her eyes.

"I've only seen it once before. This is still real time, real time, and seeing Steve is kind of weird," she said.

Afterward, Stanton took questions from the audience for about an hour. They ranged from how she felt about media coverage of the firing of Steve Stanton to why she decided to let CNN follow her through her transition.

"There's nothing like having your first mammogram with a whole TV crew," Stanton said, laughing.

"It was fun for us, too," Arce said, drawing more laughter from the crowd.
Then Stanton turned serious.

She said she wanted people to "see the transition — not the physical transition on the Discovery Channel — but the psychological, spiritual, social transition, the impact on friends, family and community."

Stanton said she was nervous about the documentary being broadcast but was committed to seeing it through.

"I do ask myself, 'What was I thinking?' but I don't regret it," she said. "There's a lot of misunderstanding (about transgender issues)."

Another person asked whether Stanton would consider turning her extensive journal collection into a book. Stanton has been keeping a journal since she was 8. She actually kept two between 1978 and 2008, one for Steven and one for Susan.

Stanton said she had tried once but was turned down by publishers. But that might change after the documentary comes out, she said.

Stanton said it was her journals that got her through the difficult times in her transition. Although she maintains a healthy relationship with her ex-wife and they raise their son together, she lost all of her friends "except for two or three really good ones," and all of her professional relationships.

An audience member asked if Stanton knew who had leaked her plans to transition to the St. Petersburg Times. She didn't know.

"Whoever violated that trust, that would hurt to know," Stanton said, tearing up. "It's best not to know."